How to: Smack My Bitch Up

-Tubs

P.S. Yes, I know Lazy has been the only one blogging for AGES. I'll try to step up and actually write something soon. MAYBE.

Just a quickie...

...this week, haven't really managed to watch much, altho I can't exactly say that I've done much else because, well, this is me we're talking about, and I'm pretty damn lazy.

So here's the roundup, as far as I can remember:

Taken: Have had this one for a while now, and it's not really caught my attention until somebody recommended it to me. It was fairly enjoyable, a quite down-to-earth tail of an retired government agent who travels to Paris to find his daughter who has been abducted, utilising all of the skills he knows best (basically, it's like your dad kicking some ass). I was hungover when I watched it, so it could have been worse than I remember.

Se7en: Took me AAAAGES to watch this one, 14 years to be exact. Granted, I was 7 when it came out, but you think I could have gotten round to it at some point. It was, however, worth the wait. Just the right amount of plot twists in this detective thriller made it a great watch, especially with the cast of Morgan Freeman and Brad Pitt, who manage to play off each other brilliantly. I also love seeing how outdated technology is just a decade ago, much like the "futuristic" technology in The Bone Collector.

Weeds: I've finally managed to get round to catching up with the 5th season of Weeds, and have to say, I'm not that impressed. The first few seasons were great, but after branching away from the Agrestic/Majestic suburbs, the storylines have become way too far-fetched and ridiculous to say the least. Not only have the mexicans thoroughly invaded, but the amazing sub-plots involving Andy and Doug have all but vanished. Re-watching the first and second series has reminded me that it IS a great show tho.

Dexter: Managed to complete Season 3, after starting it a couple of months ago (I really need to pick something and watch it from start to finish in one go). Pretty great, as per usual, although I'd still lump it in the same boat as Weeds, in which the original series was SO great that it's pretty hard to compete as the series develops. Season 3 did have a pretty great last few episodes, which helped to redeem the previous episodes (which could explain why it took me so long, the earlier episodes were so boring that I just couldn't be bothered).

And that's pretty much it. Granted, TV shows take longer to watch, but still, poor effort on my part. Also, I was pretty bored yesterday, and wasn't in the mood for ANY of the films I've got, so I started 30 Rock from the beginning. Never fails to amuse, and is in some parts better the second time around, where you notice the little hidden jokes that fly so thick and fast the first time (much like my re-watching of Arrested Development, the number of hidden gems in that is incredible).

Hopefully next week I'll find something good to watch, if not, I'll probably just make up a few lies and pretend that I actually care :)

~ Lazy

It's that time again

So I've been meaning to write this for the past week, so here we go. I've decided that maybe I should try and update this once in a while, that while being "every week", so here goes, the first of hopefully a weekly update on what I've been watching and whether you should bother watching them too. Simple, yes?

First up, Groundhog Day. It's taken me a long time to get round to seeing this, I believe the last time it was on telly I watched about 5 minutes and fell asleep. So I think to myself, now now, lets give it a chance. So I start to watch again the other day and BOOM. Straight to sleep. HOWEVER. Before you start throwing rocks and sharp implements, in my defence, I'm lazy, I can't help it when I start to fall asleep. I can't fight it, I just have to go with the flow and nap.

Now, when I finally awoke, I decided that I didn't even try the first time (that and I'd run out of stuff that I could be bothered to watch). And what did I think after finally making it all the way through? Amazing. Classic Bill Murray, a real treat for my eyeballs. I have no idea what was making me fall asleep, but once I got into it, I was delighted with what I saw. That being said, if I happened to be stuck in the same day for the rest of my life, I'd probably just stay in bed more :)

I also managed to catch Banlieue 13: Ultimatum this past week, which was pretty spectacular. If you've ever seen the first film, probably better known as District 13 here, then you'll know what you're in for. This film is produced by Luc Besson, known not only for his directoral contributions such as Léon and La Femme Nikita (which is on my "to-watch" list), but for his producer role in films such as the Taxi series and The Transporter films, and is rife with parkour and martial arts stunts galore. Almost all of the stunts were performed without wires, as performed by the star of the film, David Belle (known for being the Godfather of parkour). The storyline is much weaker than the first, but that doesn't stop the film being pretty kickass. I mean, what would the film industry be without terrible storylines (*ahem* Crank/Crank 2).

I can't be bothered to write large amounts for the rest, so here's the rundown:

Gigantic: Really weird indie film. I pretty much watched it cus it's got Zooey Descanel in it (you would, don't lie to me). The trailer made it out to be a pretty simple film, but for some reason, every now and then, a random homeless guy keeps attacking the main character. With absolutely NO explanation. That's just TOO weird for me.

Mission Impossible: Re-watched this, forgot how awesome it was (the 2nd film really put me off)

Night at the Museum 2: Now this is a film. An all star cast and a pretty great story, full of fun and whatnot. Dips at parts, and just seems plain stupid at others (forgetting the fact that the whole film is based around statues coming to life). Not as great as the first, but still pretty funny .

Up: Now I had pretty high hopes for this film, and have been told by many people that it's hilarious. Really? It's kinda funny, but most of all it's just plain sad! First off, it starts with a kid meeting a girl, they grow old together and then she dies. Oh. That's FUNNNNY. So then he spends the rest of the film talking to his dead wife, being followed around by a kid who tells the story of how his dad never comes to any of his scout meetings. Wow, please, stop, you're killing me. Sure, it's a nice film, but the abandonment issues run a little too deep for my liking.

I Love You, Man: Actually watched this a while back, but forgot to mention it. I quite liked it. It was a bit slow, and as much as I appreciate Jason Segel in Freaks and Geeks and How I Met Your Mother, I think his on screen antics start to wear a little thin on me.

Terminator Salvation: Again, watched this a while back. It's okay. Nothing spectacular.

Management: Quirky "rom-com" with Steve Zahn and Jennifer Aniston. I emphasise quirky. He feels her bum and then follows her across the country. Kinda creepy dontchathink?

Manic: Indie film from 2001, about kids locked up in a psych ward. S'got Joseph Gordon-Levittz (yes!) and Zooey Deschanel (yesss! altho she looks pretty young and "puffy") in it, so thats nice. Pretty cool.

And on top of all those, I've also been watching the TV show Spin City from back in the later 90s, which is much more awesome than I remember. And you really can't tell that Michael J Fox has the disease of the Parkinsons. Maybe thats bcus his character is always jumping around like he's on edge. Or maybe thats because he has Parkinsons, it's hard to tell. I'm on the 4th series now, but from what I can remember, at some point MJ Fox disappears and is replaced by Charlie Sheen. At that point I will probably give up (altho the rest of the characters are just as funny if not at times funnier).

So there we have it. Tune in next week for another episode of "Sam's Amazing Adventures (that don't involve leaving his bed)"

~ Lazy

*insert witty title here*

So this week saw the passing of a true legend, the late John Hughes. He was a true master of the screenplay, bringing us such greats as Curly Sue, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, and of course, one of my favourite films of all time, Ferris Bueller's Day Off. His films, both directoral (haha, direct oral) and littoral (is that even a word? IT IS NOW) were of great significance to the 80s, and have become legendary in their own right. I'm not sure my life would really be the same without FBDO (I certainly would have one less poster hanging on my wall). RIP

In other news, the trailer for Fantastic Mr. Fox is up, and it looks goooood! (linksy). Now the only qualm I have with it is the teeny weeny incy wincy little bit that says "Based on the book by the author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". This to me is pretty much a fucking disgrace. The fact that kids these days wouldn't get "Based on the book by Roald Dahl", so they feel the need to compare it to another film?! and frankly not even a great one, I would have preferred "Based on the book by the author of Matilda". Now THATS a fucking classic.

So here's whats been going on:

Ice Age 3 - Wow. Way to kill it guys, really, you've outdone yourself. Literally. Kill it. Preferably with fire, but you may choose to utilise any of the following methods: Spork, Stapler, Angry Cat, Cheese or Lawnmower. It's just not funny. And frankly, there are a disturbingly large amount of "adult" jokes in there. Shrek could pull it off, but then again they never had a scene where a prehistoric animal goes up to a cow to milk ot and and ends up having to run away screaming "I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GIRL". For one, that's rape. And for two, it's the bad kind of rape.

The Proposal - I've seen worse chickflicks, and you can't beat a bit of Ryan Reynolds or Sandra Bullcock.

Twilight - I was forced to watch this one. I've never read the books, and quite frankly, I'm glad. Now I know vampires aren't real, so technically NONE of it matters, but well done, way to butcher the classic tale of the vampire. There's some serious plotholes in mythology here, most notably, the fact that they can come out during the daytime. Yeah, apparently in the twilight-iverse, vampires don't die when hit by good old fashioned UV rays. Apparently they, and it hurts me a little to say this..."sparkle". No word of a lie. They sparkle. Like diamonds. Big gay magical unicorn diamonds. *vomit*. Oh and the only real way to kill them is to rip them limb from limb and burn the body. So no stake through the heart. No silver. No sunlight. Can you get any more retarded?

Beside from that, I also re-watched Liar Liar, cus it's awesome, and have just finished watching a new show called Castle, which is about a novelist who tags along with the NYPD to gain ideas for his next book. In a way it's pretty similar to every other standard crime show, except it's not stupid. It's actually kinda funny. S'got Nathan Fillion in it. He's a funny one!

And on the music front, I can't stop listening to Florence and the Machine. She has an absolutely amazing voice, plus she's ginger, so that's a bonus right there

~ Lazy

The Voice

World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale from World Science Festival on Vimeo.

If you've never heard of Bobby McFerrin before, now is the time to check him out. I remember hearing his 'Flight of the Bumblebees' years ago and pretty much jizzed myself. He is a wonderfully skilled jazzman, and that's fun and great. Go listen to him on Spotify immediately! He does a pretty good 'Sunshine of your Love' cover which is always good news.

Moving on: I went to Latitude Festival fairly recently (as Lazy pointed out in his last post) with Richard Hayward (there you go, love; there's your mention) and I should really blog about that. Maybe I will! But I might not. Isn't the tension killing you? Oh how thrilling.
Following this escapade, I finally bought a Bat for Lashes album (because she was amazing) so my next recommedation for you today is 'Trophy'. Spotify that wonderful treat and eat it up like pancakes and bacon. Mmmm... I'm hungry.

- Tubs

So I'm pretty shit

Cus I keep forgetting to actually write about some of the films I've been watching. So here's a mega (or not-so-mega depending on how bored I get halfway through) post of what's been going on in film (and maybe some music thrown in for good measure.

Let's start with the good; Adventureland. F-to-the-UNTIMES. I really liked this film, there's just something about it thats so likeable. If you've seen the trailer, you might have thought, like me, that it was pitched as a very in your face comedy. Highlighting the fact that it's from director Greg Mottola (who directed Superbad and is set to direct Simon Pegg and Nick Frost's next creation, Paul) and features roles from the likes of Bill Hader, Kristen Wiig, Ryan Reynolds and Martin Starr, I was given the impression that this would be another rollercoaster ride of a comedy. What I actually saw was something even better, a film worth watching again and again. I'd put the style of the film somewhere between a low-profile indie flick and a Wes Anderson masterpiece. It's just quirky enough to not be too mainstream, but contains enough of the usual Hader/Wiig antics that'll make it so popular.

And now some bad:
Land of the Lost - I gave up about 20 minutes in. It made no sense at all. Not even Anna Friel can save this monstrosity
Dragonball Evolution - Just...what.

And some mildly average:
Van Wilder: Freshman Year - Not great, but not entirely bad either. I'm sure everyone who will watch it will completely disagree, but there are definitely some parts of this which are worthy of a chuckle or two.
Watchmen - Not having ready the comic books, this film would probably have made more sense. It was alrite and everything, there were just bits of it that were all like "meh" and stuff (You can tell i'm really trying here can't you?)
17 Again - Yeah, not bad. Obviously not great, cus frankly its been done before and better (Tom Hanks you legend). Although, one major flaw with the entire film is that the wife doesn't seem to realise that her husband is now a kid. Not just any kid, but the kid she went out with in high school and had a baby with (*SPOILER ALERT* that last bit was a spoiler...shit, i've done that wrong havn't I?). Frankly "oh, you look a bit like my husband used to" doesn't really cut it. You'd think you'd KNOW what they looked like and you'd be all "MIIIIIINDFUUUUUCK" or something.

And now for some more good stuff! YAY FOR GOODIES!

Well I haven't actually got any more goodies film-wise, but...ummm...Chappelle's Show is awesome! Couple of years old now, but you can't go wrong with a bit o' racist banter huh! I've also been watching Breaking Bad, havn't quite managed to finish the 2nd season yet as I've had work to do etc. But I will, don't you worry. There's also a long list of stuff that I should watch before the new series starts in September, but I'm not going to bore you with it (mostly cus it's all gay stuff like Grey's Anatomy)

In terms of music, the new Calvin Harris song, "Ready for the Weekend" has some pretty good remixes. Official ones too, good ol' Calvin Schmalvin got Fake Blood and High Contrast to do some pretty awesome mixes. I have yet to decide which is better, altho i'm leaning slightly towards the High Contrast remix. However I'm thinking that if I heard the Fake Blood mix on a fat bass system on a night at Custard, i'd still blow a load. (THAT IMAGE DOING ANYTHING FOR YA?!?!). You can find the tunes over at hypemachine, just do that thing with the search box and your keyboard.

I think that's it from me. I turn 21 on Saturday, which is nice and everything. I believe Tubs is over at Latitude for the weekend, so I'm sure she'll have some updates for you when she gets back.

~ Lazy

Danger! Love!

Hello kiddiewinks! How are we this glorious, greying day?
It is I, Tubs, appearing on your computer screens to talk about SCIENCE. No, wait... MUSIC.


I bought the new Decemberists' album Hazards of Love a while back and have been meaning to write about it ever since, but it's been sunny and I don't get paid to write this crap. However, now I venture...

Hazards of Love is a concept album inspired by an EP of the same name by an old folk singer called Anne Briggs, who Colin Meloy has mentioned before. She is proper, original folk; the kind of stuff your parents probably listened to when they were getting stoned around a fire. I imagine that's what all of your parents did, right? In any case, she's just one of those obvious influences if only because Meloy has regularly mentioned her. That's all you would need to know about that if necessity were a feature at all.
Just in case you're not clued in to The Decemberists, they can be simplified down to folk-rock that dips into 'progressive' now and then. Colin Meloy has a style that has been referred to as pretentious, but fuck that; he just tells good folk tales using wonderful wording. Also they have good timbre. Delicious. More accordions in music please!
Anyhoo, this is their fifth album but is different to their previous work and is my favourite as it is consistently great. It is also super-epic. It is a sort of rock-opera revolving around some chick named Margaret, but the narrative is vague enough to not get in the way of the music as it is. Meloy's wonderfully lyrical way with words isn't lost here despite my unusual disinterest in the content, and definitely gains new ground with Becky Stark as guest vocalist. It just sounds great. There's a brilliant use of dynamics, ranging from sweet and sensitive guitar to massive rock lurches that are almost obnoxious, and I feel I should note that I'm getting a big Pink Floyd vibe. That's not just because of the big kids chorus number near the end of the tale which, by the by, happens to be my favourite chapter of the album; in many ways it's incredibly eerie, but is somehow lovely as well. (Reminds me of Zelda: Ocarina of Time a bit for some reason...) It just feels ridiculously clever.
Hazards of Love is probably my favourite album of the year so far, because it is immediately heart-crushingly luxurious and dramatic. It's a wonderful piece of work and I urge you to purchase it post-haste! And then listen to it all in one go, since there is no divide between each 'single' - it must be appreciated wholly, like a good film. Don't spotify it because the adverts will ruin it and that will make me sad.

I'm going to go and drink lots of water for my hangover now. Good day to you!

-Tubs